


Unspoken Feelings

by nicolefrickinghaught



Category: Ghosts (TV 2019)
Genre: F/F, and a sleepover, implied unrequited Kitty/Alison, kitty is sad, mary is awkward af, mary tries to comfort her, there is an attempt at dancing, there's a another party, they just both like to be held
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:41:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28697865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicolefrickinghaught/pseuds/nicolefrickinghaught
Summary: There's another party at Button House, however Kitty is again crying on the stairs. Mary tries to comfort her, and soon the women try to dance with each other and end up having a sleepover.Meanwhile, Mary thinks about her feelings for Kitty, knowing that she would never be able to reveal them to the other woman as she would never feel the same way - or so she thought.
Relationships: Kitty/Mary (Ghosts TV 2019)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	Unspoken Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first attempt at writing Ghosts fanfiction - I hope you enjoy it, and I'm sorry that the writing is not the best!  
> This is set shortly after episode 2.6, but before the Christmas episode. I stole the couple of lines of dialogue at the beginning from episode 2.2.  
> Also this has not been beta read, so all mistakes are mine!  
> Please feel free to leave any feedback!

Alison and Mike were having another house party, despite how badly the last one had ended. The house was alive with music, people, and, ironically, ghosts. Most of Alison and Mike’s friends were in the large living room, drunkenly dancing. The same was the case for the ghosts too – they were enjoying the company and the music. However, not all the ghosts could be found in the living room. Mary was aware of the absence of her closest friend, and was looking all over for her, being careful to dodge the living people around her.

Mary heard Kitty before she saw her. She followed the sound of Kitty’s sobs and found her sat on the staircase with her head in her hands. Mary’s heart almost broke for the other woman – she hated seeing her friend so upset. She cautiously approached Kitty so as not to startle her before touching her shoulder lightly. Kitty almost jumped at her touch and looked over at Mary, her sobs slowly being replaced with sniffles.

‘What ails thee Kitty?’ Mary asked sympathetically while sitting down beside her, her hand not leaving Kitty’s shoulder.

‘Alison hates me!’ Kitty shrieked before breaking out into a fit of sobs again. Mary moved her hand from Kitty’s shoulder to her back, rubbing it gently.

‘Oh well that be dafts! Alison does no hates you!’ she replied, attempting to cheer Kitty up. Judging by the fact Kitty was still crying, she assumed she didn’t succeed. 

“No, she does!” Kitty insisted, shaking her head profusely. ‘She’s been ignoring me all night now that she has her other friends here. I really love Alison – she’s my best friend. So why am I not hers? It’s not fair!’ she explained devastatingly. Mary continued to soothe her by wrapping her arm around Kitty’s shoulders and pulling her closer, so that Kitty was now crying into her shoulder.

“You cans have other best friends.’ She reassured. Kitty began to calm down slightly while looking up at the other woman.

‘Am I your friend, Mary?’ she asked, sounding so fragile that Mary worried that if she held her any tighter, she would break. Mary furrowed her brow, confused at the question since the answer was so obvious to her. The two had gotten closer over the past few months since Alison arrived at the house. Neither of them were often seen without the other. Mary really enjoyed spending time with Kitty and loved her optimism and good nature. In that way, Kitty wasn’t like most of the other ghosts, and she made a nice change. By thinking about how close they had become, she realised how much Kitty meant to her. The other woman always listened to her and supported her, no matter what the other ghosts thought. Kitty made her feel valued and wanted, a feeling she had not experienced in a long time. She had tried to make Kitty know how much she valued and wanted her too, so the other woman’s question slightly hurt her. Mary also felt slightly envious of Alison and the amount of love and care Kitty had for her – she wished the Georgian woman would love and care for her just as much as, if not even more than, she cared for the living woman.

She looked down at Kitty to see her looking back at her. Their eyes met, and Mary’s stare lingered longer than it probably should have. She found it hard to look away from Kitty’s brown eyes.

‘Well I would says so, yes.’ she began, managing to glance away from Kitty, but therefore missing the hopeful and adoring look she was giving her. ‘Were no Alison your best friend then I would have seens us as best friends.’ she continued, daring to look back at Kitty. Seeing Kitty smiling perfectly back at her gave her the courage to continue. ‘I’s very fond of yous, actually.’ That was probably a bit of an understatement, but nevertheless she saw Kitty’s smile turn briefly into a look of surprise before being replaced with a wide, excitable grin. Mary suddenly felt Kitty wrap her arms around her waist and her heart would have nearly skipped a beat with the unexpected contact and warmth that seemed to radiate from the other woman, despite her being dead. She would have blushed if she were not also dead herself.

‘I would love to be your best friend, Mary!’ Kitty exclaimed happily. All Mary had to do was simply glance at Kitty’s smile before she was grinning herself. Kitty’s happiness was infectious, and Mary felt somewhat proud to have been the cause of it. ‘I’ve rather wanted to be your best friend for a while now, but I knew that you and Annie were closer than we were.’ she added, and Mary noticed that her voice did not sound as joyful as it did only seconds earlier.

‘Yes, Annie was a trues friend of mines. But she’s been sucked off for a long times now. That means yous can be my best friend.’ she explained, hoping to make the other girl happy again. It must have worked since Kitty was now hugging her tightly. This wasn’t the first time that Kitty had hugged her, but this hug felt different – it felt like it conveyed something more meaningful than usual, but Mary wasn’t sure exactly what. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been held in that way. She reciprocated the hug, wrapping her arms around Kitty’s neck just as tightly, and hoped it would never end, enjoying the intimacy.

‘Thank you, Mary.’ the other woman whispered surprisingly calmly into her ear. Unfortunately Kitty pulled away, and Mary immediately missed the contact. She still smiled though, trying not to look too disappointed. ‘Are you enjoying the party?’ Kitty asked her. Mary nodded.

‘I likes the dancing.’ she replied and Kitty smiled at her adoringly. 

‘I’m sure you are very good at dancing.’ Mary grinned at the compliment, but her smile vanished when she saw Kitty frown. ‘I’ve never had the chance to dance, not properly anyway – never with anyone…’ Kitty looked sadly down at her lap, and Mary fiddled nervously with her apron. Whenever Kitty was sad, she always wanted to try and make her  
happy again, but sometimes she wasn’t sure how.

‘I suppose I could teaches you?’ she offered, hoping that would brighten Kitty’s mood. The other woman laughed, and Mary worried that she had said the wrong thing. ‘Or not…’ she added, frowning. Kitty suddenly stopped laughing and placed her hand on Mary’s thigh. 

‘Oh no, I wasn’t laughing at you Mary!’ she said apologetically. ‘I do want you to teach me, but whoever will lead?’ Mary tilted her head slightly.

‘Lead? What do you means?’ she asked, very confused.

‘Well, if we are dancing together, then one of us must lead! Usually the men lead, but neither of us are men.’ Kitty explained. 

‘Oh, well I can lead I suppose…’ Mary stood up, beckoning the Georgian woman to do the same, and she did. ‘You follows me and do what I does then, if I be leading.’ She started to move her arms around gracefully in flowing motions that were in time to the music that boomed throughout the house. After being lost in the music for a while, she looked to Kitty to see if she was copying her own movements but saw that she was just stood there with her mouth open slightly. Mary suddenly stopped dancing and felt very self-conscious. Her hands instinctively grabbed her apron.

‘That was really beautiful. I’ve never seen dancing like that before!’ Kitty smiled again, her hands clasped together in front of her chest. 

‘Thank yous.’ Mary mumbled in reply, not sure how to respond to the compliment.

‘That wasn’t the type of dancing I was talking about though. I meant the type of dancing where two people hold each other and move together around the room!’ Kitty slowly moved closer to the other woman and held both of her hands. Mary couldn’t help but notice how different Kitty’s hands felt to her own, which were worn and dry from the continuous labour she did when she was alive – she had never held such soft hands.

‘Well I don’t knows that way of dancing I’m afraids…’ She never used to dance in the way Kitty described. The only dances she had done were usually done on her own, perhaps occasionally with a partner. However, Mary’s husband did not like dancing, and usually refused to dance with her.

‘We could learn together?’ Kitty asked gently. Mary looked back at her and saw her biting her lip slightly, her eyes looking into her own through long eyelashes. She found that she couldn’t speak – she was in awe of the other woman’s beauty – and so simply nodded. Kitty giggled nervously.

‘Alright! Maybe you should put your right hand here...’ Mary found it hard to focus on anything but Kitty’s eyes that were slightly narrowed in concentration. ‘And then I can put my left hand on your shoulder?’ Mary suddenly snapped back to reality as she felt Kitty’s hand being lightly placed on her shoulder. She looked down and saw her own hand on Kitty’s waist whilst her other one was still holding her hand. She liked the way her hand seemed to mould against Kitty’s body, almost like it was made just to be placed there. Mary dared to meet the other woman’s gaze, but as she looked up, she realised Kitty wasn’t looking back into her eyes, but rather was looking somewhere slightly below them. Usually she would have felt self-conscious, but this time it felt like her heart should be beating out of her chest, if it still could beat.

“What does we now?’ Mary asked, breaking the slightly tense silence between them. Kitty’s eyes flicked back up to meet Mary’s, and she smiled shyly.

“Now we move!” Kitty exclaimed, before placing her right foot forward. Mary, however, also stepped forward, and the pair’s bodies collided. 

“Oh dears, I no very good at this…’ she said, shaking her head in defeat. She was about to step away from the other woman, but could feel Kitty holding her in place, preventing her from leaving their stance. 

“We can get better with practice!” Kitty encouraged. “Maybe we should practice together every week, and then we’ll be ready to dance at the next ball!” Mary grinned at her, grateful that she would be able to learn how to dance with a partner – the way she would have loved to dance many years ago.

“Yes, I would likes that very much!” She found it hard not to catch the other woman’s enthusiasm. She saw Kitty grinning back at her, very excited by her answer. 

“Oh wonderful! We should practice tomorrow, I think!’ Kitty suggested, and Mary nodded, making the other woman smile even wider if that was possible. 

There was a pause between them as they both realised they were still stood extremely close together, still in position to dance. Mary lowered her head down in awkwardness, unable to meet Kitty’s gaze. She would have stepped away from her by now if she wasn’t enjoying the intimate contact they were sharing – Mary had been so starved of this kind of contact for so long, and she wasn’t about to give it up so quickly. 

“Good Lord.” the familiar voice of the Captain rang throughout the hallway, even though he wasn’t speaking that loudly. Both women moved quickly away from each other in embarrassment – Mary grabbed fistfuls of her apron, whilst Kitty’s hands were fidgeting together. Neither of them knew what to say, making the Captain become even more certain that he had interrupted something. He coughed awkwardly. “Sorry… Well, ahem, I will leave you two be.” He looked around, hoping to find someone he could join to escape the awkward atmosphere he had created. Unfortunately, he couldn’t see anyone, and so called out for his closest friend. “Patrick! Where are you, man?” 

The Captain then darted off in the opposite direction, leaving the two women alone, who were still stood looking at anything else but each other. Mary wasn’t a massive fan of the Captain already, and now she despised him just a little for interrupting them. Now that she was certain the contact they were sharing had been lost completely, she thought it would be best if she left Kitty alone, since she was also probably feeling embarrassed. She started backing away slowly in the direction the Captain had come from.

“Well I suppose I should be goings…” she said, trying not to look at Kitty’s face. However, it was hard not to when she looked so upset. Mary couldn’t help but feel guilty knowing that she was the most likely cause of Kitty’s sadness. Maybe it was best if she just left now, to avoid upsetting her even more. However, before she had the chance to turn away, the other woman moved towards her, grabbing her wrist.

“Wait!” Kitty exclaimed almost desperately. Mary stopped dead in her tracks. “Since we’re best friends now, let’s have a sleepover!” She had heard her use the word ‘sleepover’ many times but was not entirely sure what it meant, and she had never heard it said to her – it was always Alison that Kitty wanted to have sleepovers with. 

“A sleepover?” she asked, hoping she hadn’t misheard the other woman. Kitty nodded enthusiastically.

“Yes! We can sleep together in my room, if you’d like?” she asked. 

“Sleeps together? Means you in the same bed?” Mary questioned nervously.

“Yes!” Mary’s heart dropped. She would have loved to accept Kitty’s offer, but she knew her scent wouldn’t be pleasant for the other woman.

“But I smells of burnings. It would surely bothers you…” she explained. Kitty smiled sympathetically at her as she held her other hand. 

“It would never bother me, Mary. Come on, let’s go to my room!” Kitty led her by the hand to her bedroom. 

As soon as they both walked through the door, Kitty immediately laid down on her bed and patted the space next to her, smiling reassuringly at Mary. Mary approached the bed and sat down on it cautiously, before laying down quite rigidly at the side of Kitty. She didn’t know what to do next, or how exactly to ‘sleep with’ the other woman. Ideally, she would have liked to have held Kitty while she slept, since she loved being able to touch the other woman. However, she was unsure if that was what Kitty wanted. Therefore, she simply stared at the ceiling, waiting for Kitty to do or say something. After a few moments of waiting, Mary dared to turn her head towards the other woman. As she did so, she saw that Kitty was also looking at the ceiling and that her hands were nervously fidgeting together on top of her stomach. 

“What does we now?” Mary asked. Kitty turned her head to meet Mary’s gaze, but she wasn’t smiling. 

“Well usually we would talk about men, or perhaps balls.” she paused and took a deep breath before continuing. “But I’m not sure I want to talk about men anymore.” Mary swore she noticed Kitty’s eyes flicker down to her mouth. She decided to return the look, and gazed at Kitty’s lips for a second, noticing how lovely and full they looked. The sound of the other woman’s voice averted Mary’s gaze back to her eyes.

“Perhaps we should just go to sleep? I’m quite tired, actually.” Mary nodded and closed her eyes. She wasn’t the best at going to sleep – most nights she would lie awake for ages, perhaps getting an hour or two of ‘actual’ sleep at the most. A few minutes later, she felt a hand delicately touch her wrist. She immediately opened her eyes and turned her head towards Kitty, who was giving her an apologetic look.

“Could you put your arms around me? It’s just that when I have sleepovers with Alison, all I do is lie next to her, as she can’t really touch me. I thought since we can touch each other, then maybe we could cuddle up? It’s been a long time since I’ve cuddled anyone.” she rambled on nervously. Mary was thrilled that Kitty had asked her this, wanting nothing more than to touch the other woman, and she just patiently waited for her to finish before responding.

“Has been a whiles for me too.” Kitty smiled at her, and Mary smiled back as she awkwardly extended her arms, beckoning the other woman to come closer. Kitty did so, adjusting Mary’s arms so that she fit comfortably inside them, and rested her head on Mary’s chest.

Mary expected this to be uncomfortable at first but found it to be the exact opposite. Kitty snugly fit into her side and her hand that rested lightly on her chest made Mary feel like butterflies were fluttering around in her stomach. She glanced at the other woman and saw that she was staring at her with a gentle smile on her lips. Mary took the time to look longer at Kitty’s lips, almost studying the shape of them and the way they moved. She was absolutely fascinated by them and the strong urge to kiss them suddenly filled her head.  
This wasn’t the first time that Mary had thought about the other woman in this way – similar thoughts had been in her head for many months. Everything about Kitty was beautiful to her, and so it was hard not to think about giving her physical affection. She had never felt about a person like this, especially a woman, since her husband. Of course, she had kissed Robin, but she didn’t think about him the same way she thought about Kitty – she was just caught up in the moment with him. She never questioned the fact that she seemed to love a woman, she just grew to accept it over time. However, she knew that Kitty would not feel the same way about her, and so whenever these types of thoughts crept into her head, she tried to ignore them. In order to quell these feelings, she immediately looked away from Kitty and her lips, opting to stare at the ceiling instead. Little was she aware that Kitty had noticed her staring and was giving her similar looks. 

“Mary…” Kitty began. Mary looked back at the other woman, making sure not to glance at her lips no matter how tempting it was. “Thank you for staying with me tonight. You’re the most fantastic friend I’ve ever had.”

Mary smiled, but internally cringed slightly at the word ‘friend’, wanting to be more than that to the other woman. “You’re very welcomes.”

She noticed Kitty tilting her head up, so that her face was properly facing her own. Kitty’s eyes bore into hers, and Mary was unable to look anywhere else – she was fixated by them. 

“Mary, could I kiss you?” Mary was stunned by the question, her eyes widening. Never was she expecting Kitty to ask her something like this, and with such tenderness. She assumed Kitty would never want to kiss her too, believing that the only contact she would get with her would be hugs and handholding. Mary had never wanted anything so much at this moment but tried not to act too eager in fear of scaring off the other woman. Therefore, she simply nodded, choosing not to speak.

Kitty moved her head towards her slightly, her eyes gently closing. Mary followed suit, and soon felt her lips against the other woman’s. The first thing she noticed about Kitty’s lips was that they were incredibly soft, just like her hands. The kiss was gentle and sweet, full of unspoken feelings. Both women lingered for several moments, neither of them wanting to move away. Eventually, however, Kitty moved back slightly, her eyes open again, and a shy smile on her face. Mary smiled back at her, still in disbelief that the other woman had actually kissed her. She hoped that would not be the last time they shared that type of contact, as it was better than she had ever imagined it could be.

“Perhaps we could do that more oftens?” Mary bravely asked, desperately hoping that Kitty would agree to her suggestion.

“I would like that very much.” Kitty replied lovingly. Mary breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed, resting her head atop the other woman’s.

“Goodnight Mary.” Kitty said tiredly, snuggling up as close as she possibly could to the other woman. 

Mary didn’t mind this one bit, relishing the contact. She would definitely be having more sleepovers with Kitty if this was what they involved. Mary closed her eyes, knowing that she would get the best night’s sleep she had ever had in years. Finally, she believed Kitty knew how she felt about her – how much she cared for her and loved her – and was so happy and relieved to know that Kitty seemed to feel the same.


End file.
